Unhappy California Cows

In April, the advocacy group Last Chance for Animals (LCA) filed a complaint with the California Attorney General’s Office against the California Milk Advisory Board, the group responsible for the “Happy Cow” commercials. The ads feature healthy, cheerful cows who enjoy plenty of green grass, sunlight, and space, along with the slogan: “Happy cows make great cheese” and “Great cheese comes from happy cows. Happy cows come from California.”

LCA included with the complaint footage their investigator shot at several California dairies. The farms are members of the California Dairies, which is in turn a member of the Advisory Board, the group behind the commercials.

According to the LCA, the cows captured by their cameras are anything but “happy”, and that the cows are, in fact, knee deep in mud, unable to graze, and they do not have even a fraction of the space the “happy cows” in the CMAB ads enjoy, charging that the CMAB deliberately deceived the public to induce them to buy California cheese.

Really?

Photo © Amit Bar

That’s called effective marketing, geniuses.

Author’s Note: Clearly, not all the happy cows live in California. These two are from Holland.

We should all lovingly embrace our happy cows.

I’ll take the one on the right.

Despite the typically juvenile intelligence of the American public, even of average free-thinking Californians, I hardly expect that the general population believes that free-range cows really do talk amongst themselves, sing songs to pass the time, or audition for television commercials.

Otherwise, what next? Is the LCA planning to file complaints against equally deceptive Laughing Cow (happy cows in France), Dancing Cow (happy cows in Vermont), and Silly Cow (more happy cows in Vermont)? Then on to Happy Goat (California), Happy Pig (Florida), Happy Horse (Colorado), and Happy Hippo (Montana)?

Part of what makes America great is the freedom to express yourself and your ideas. Part of what makes America not so great is the abuse of that freedom by people with loud voices, deep pockets, a cause, and nothing better to do than to push their beliefs, morals, and viewpoints onto everyone else.

Focus not on whether the public is deceived into believing that earthquakes help California cows make better milk shakes, but instead towards actually making things better for the cows.

Better we all focus our litigious energies elsewhere — clowns. Clowns aren’t really happy; they’re just painted to look that way. Deliberately and deceptively.



The Kingdom of EnenKio

The tropical paradise of Wake Atoll is claimed both by the United States and the Marshall Islands, and has also been decreed as an independent sovereignty first conceived in 1987 in the name of the Kingdom of EnenKio. This article relates to the claims put forth by the people representing the Kingdom of EnenKio.

The biggest question comes down to who owned the island during the last few decades. According to the 1971 Fourth Quarter edition of the Micronesian Reporter, “the island is still considered [by the Marshallese] to be a part of the Marshalls. It is one of the northern islands of the Eastern Chain, which include Aur, Maloelap, Wotje, Ailuk, and Uterik, and it is claimed by the Iroij, the chiefs of these islands.

Enen-Kio is the same as [other islands in the chain which] were never divided up among the people with a lot of small land claims, as is true of the inhabited islands of the Marshalls. Instead, they are reserved for turtles and sea birds… They belong to the chief, meaning that they belong to all of the people.” The official “government” website of Enenkio also states in certain documents that the Marshall Island chains included the Wake Atoll, but confusingly asserts the contrary in others.

For centuries the islands were owned by Spain after being conquered in the 16th and 17th centuries. Then, after the Spanish-American war ended in 1885, Germany purchased the Marshalls, administered them directly from Berlin, and established phosphate mining on the island of Nauru. Japan acquired the Marshall Islands, with the exception of Nauru, during World War I. While the United States had been in control of Wake Island since 1898, they acquired the rest of the islands as a result of Japan’s defeat at the end of World War II.

As a result of the post World War II rearrangement of the former Mandates of the League of Nations, Micronesia — and with it the Marshall Islands — became a Trust Territory administered by the USA on behalf of the United Nations. This specifically excluded Wake Island. All of the islands, including Wake Island, were once owned by Spain through conquest.

Whether or not Wake was acquired by the United States directly from the spoils of war waged with Spain, or through the chain of purchase and acquisition through Germany and Japan, the Marshalls were all owned at one time by the United States, which then choose not to relinquish its hold on Wake Island specifically during the Trust Territory Period or through the Compact of Free Association which granted the rest of the Marshalls independence.

When welcomed to the “official” EnenKio website, visitors are presented with the statement that “an aboriginal people now strive to rise above a mire of dependency, neglect and outright physical assaults from foreign invaders bearing atomic weapons, foreign ideologies and leaving broken trusts and hearts in their wake.”

The three-island atoll that consists of Peale Island, Wake Island, and Wilkes Island has never been populated, settled, or developed until March of 1935, when Pan American World Airways began the building of a trans-Pacific airbase, corroborated by PanAm’s official records and even the EnenKio “government” website. There are no indigenous inhabitants of the island, thus there are no “aboriginal people”, let alone ones experiencing “neglect and outright physical assaults” or “broken trusts and hearts”. Visits to the island trio by Marshallese seamen occurred once a year or even less frequently, and were made in order to collect feathers and plumes of seabirds, wing bones of albatross, and the rare kio flower, the atoll’s namesake.

The “government” website bases its claim of pre-European settlement on a statement that today’s absence of resources including potable water, arable land, and natural food sources “does not mean that such resources never existed.” Leaping from the assumption that resources vital to human survival may have existed directly to the concept of aboriginal settlements is logically flawed.

“The people of EnenKio Atoll, now living in exile, having declared the causes which impel them to unite and requiring no justification from any external origin, are determined to displace the invaders… Like it or not, this is the newest nation in the Pacific Region.” So says Kermit Rydell, Chief Secretary of EnenKio. Exile is defined as the forced removal from one’s native country. Unless, Kermit, you are an albatross or a Polynesian rat, you and your “people” have not been forcibly removed from Wake Island. There are no records of native green frogs either, Kermit.

Author’s Note: In the June 1999 paper The Vision for the Kingdom of EnenKio, the self-titled “Cap’n K. Rydell” — as per the PDF metadata — states “there are no known nationals of Eneen-Kio itself” and that “naturalization of citizens shall be determined by public policy, set forth as a [sic] endorsed privilege rather than a natural right.” For a fee.

All of the assertions by the fledgling “government” are based on the fact that the Wake Atoll was originally a part of the Marshall Islands and were once “owned” by a Marshallese chieftain (or Iroijlaplap) who granted the cessation of the atoll in the late 1980’s, yet, in a document stating the legal opinion that the government is justified in issuing passports because it says it can within its Constitution, it is asserted as a factual assumption that the “EnenKio Atoll is not and has never been a part of the Republic of Marshall Islands”, and because the RMI was not a sovereign entity in 1899 when the United States took possession of the Wake Atoll, the RMI’s claim to ownership is invalid.

Whether or not the atoll was once part of the Marshalls appears to be irrelevant to the Kingdom of EnenKio; either way it reports evidence contrary to its own assertions, all of which point to ownership by the United States.

Diagram © Richard D. LeCour
Satellite Image © Google

Furthermore, the Certificate of Ownership that supposedly confirms the ownership of all ten atolls in the Marshall Islands Ratak chain by the same “King” Murjel Hermios conspicuously leaves out any mention of Wake, Enen-Kio, Eneen-Kio or any other name by which the Wake Atoll has previously been known or referred.

Because Hermios was the paramount chief of the Ratak Chain (the closest chain to Wake Atoll), and he did not preside over Wake Island, and the three remaining Iroijlaplap presided over vastly different geographic areas to the West and South, Wake Island cannot be considered Marshallese.

In a letter to the Marshall Islands Journal, State Secretary Kermit Rydell himself stated that “the ownership documents affirming the validity of the title and authority of Iroijlaplap Hermios over the northern atolls of the Ratak chain… did not include EnenKio atoll… The existence of the Kingdom and its government does not rest upon your belief, knowledge or consent, nor that of any other person. It exists because of the vision, understanding and unwavering belief in sound principles of Divine inheritance, of none other than Iroijlaplap Hermios.” Yet Hermios never mentioned Wake or Enen-Kio Islands when transferring the ten Ratak chain islands into the Iroijlaplap Murjel Hermios Eleemosynary Trust on April 6, 1989.

It wasn’t until March 21, 1994, that Wake Island was even mentioned when Robert F. Moore — in his capacity as a government minister and on behalf of Iroijlaplap Hermios — declared the Enen-Kio Atoll to be one of the Northern Atolls of the Ratak Archipelago of Pacific Ocean Islands, that Hermios retained rightful jurisdiction over the atoll, and that Enen-Kio was to be considered an independent nation.

According to the Citizen Fidelity and Investment section of the EnenKio’s planned Economic Development report, “individuals wishing to further the causes and development programs of the Kingdom by affiliation or involvement may make application for citizenship and travel documents or for consular representative assignment”, and specifically targets people who are experiencing “political instability in [their] country”, whose “assets are vulnerable to loss, attachment or litigation”, who are “overburdened by taxation”, and whose “basic human right to travel is restricted.” — all perfectly tailored to every terrorist, drug dealer, or tax cheat!

Image © MI Journal

Alongside a mugshot of Robert Moore, the headline in the December 2, 1994, issue of the Marshall Islands Journal reads “Is this man a bald-faced liar? The AG (Attorney General) thinks so.”

So, how does one become a citizen, you ask? To be considered a Qualified Citizen, an applicant must be born unto a parent who is, prior to birth, a citizen; or born within any jurisdiction of the Kingdom; or a citizen or resident of the Marshall Islands; or a person of Marshallese ancestry; or married to a citizen, or one qualified as a citizen. To be considered a Naturalized Citizen, an applicant must have attained an age of five years; and submitted a completed application; and successfully passed security and proof of identity checks; and enclose four color photographs; and have proffered allegiance to the Kingdom by signed oath; and have been accepted as a member of Kio Royale.

Since when does a government require prospective citizens to become members of “private independent service-oriented advocacy groups”, let alone ones that charge one-time fees between $500 and $10,000 with annual dues of $50 or $100? Once you’ve become a member of the EnenKio private club, an “official” EnenKio passport is only $100 away, a driver’s license just $25. The applicant understands “that EnenKio Atoll government cannot be held liable for my possession or use of any document(s) issued hereunder.”

Author’s Note: The metadata for the Kio Royale PDF application above shows that the document was created in January 2000 by Kermit Rydell, the Chief Secretary of the Kingdom of EnenKio, the “government body” in charge of citizenship.

Why? Because Robert F. Moore, the man behind the fake government knows that what he and the other “governmental officials” is doing is illegal. He tries to cover himself with statements on his website that state that “the government does not sell passports and does not supply them to people who are not citizens of the Kingdom of EnenKio” and “processing fees listed above cover design and production costs only. Payment of fees does not constitute a purchase. Kio Royale is a non-profit non-governmental advocacy agency.” If membership in a private group is required for national citizenship, that group cannot be considered non-governmental.

Courtesy of EnenKio.org

The entire EnenKio government is a scam, manufactured as a tax haven, viewed as fraudulent by the Marshall Islands and the United States governments, and otherwise ignored by every legitimate land. The Securities and Exchange Commission has filed a restraining order against Robert, curtailing attempted sales of $1 billion in bonds to fund various pie-in-the-sky projects, including construction of a spaceport, and manufacture of sonic-powered devices and personal vertical take-off and landing air and water crafts.

Bonds were supposedly backed by non-existing reserves and properties, including a 200-suite floating hotel moored in the lagoon of the atoll with restaurants, a casino, and ballrooms. EnenKio claimed to possess 100 electric trucks used as free ground transportation, and that emergency medical services were provided by five hospital ships and five vertical take-off and landing air ambulances. Just for fun, see if you can locate the 200-suite floating hotel in the lagoon, using Google’s interactive satellite image maps. (Hint: there isn’t one!)

Many individuals have sent the fees required to become naturalized citizens and paid a little extra to obtain “diplomatic documents”. Of course, these fake credentials have been repeatedly abused and EnenKio’s official response to the reports of abuse was not to conduct additional background checks on applicants or to require specific duties to be performed by the countries “representatives”, but instead to increase the fees charged. All you need is an “interest in international politics”, “good knowledge of the country where you live”, to be over the age of 21, and have access to a telephone, a fax machine, and a computer linked to the internet, and to be an “effective communicator”.

Robert Moore and his cohorts claim $105,200,000 in back rent commencing on January 17, 1899 (which Robert celebrates as a national holiday — Invasion Day!) through 1994, with an additional $5 million rent per month thereafter. As of August 2002, the monthly invoice Robert mails to the United States Department of the Interior reached $2,006,082,482 through the rents and accrued interest at 18% per year, compounded monthly.

Perhaps Robert would take a check written from a “licensed” bank under the jurisdiction of the equally illegal sister nation of the Dominion of Melchizedek.

Update

Rev. Robert Moore (age 79 as of 2012) and his EnenKio project seem to have gone mostly underground, although for some reason he is still sporadically spamming forums and comment pages with links to his enenkio.org website as recently as July 2012 — even though the site’s domain registration expired sometime between March and April 2009 and is now the site of a Japanese dating service. The European satellite websites are all down, and his affiliated websites also all appear to be gone — including iroj-trust.com (expired April 2011) and kingstrust.net (expired August 2010). According to white page listings, Robert is living in Oahu.

Kermit Rydell appears to have settled down in his capacity as Rev. Kermit, performing beach wedding ceremonies on Oahu. He does not list his position as Chief Secretary of EnenKio on his LinkedIn profile.